


I Still Dream of You

by BeignetBenny



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4594812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeignetBenny/pseuds/BeignetBenny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dreams of Purgatory faded two years after Benny died. Although Dean still missed Benny, he was happy that the dreams had ended. He could finally move on. At least until Sam brought the vampire up again one post-vamp hunt at the bunker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Still Dream of You

**Author's Note:**

> I learned today that Dark Paradise by Lana del Rey fits DeanBenny very well. I also suggest you listen to it while reading this

The refrigerator only held two things inside. Chinese takeout from the week before, and a case of beer cans. Dean sighed to himself. After a hunt that left him with a sore back, a bruised rib, and serious whiplash all he wanted to do was sleep. Yet, his body kept telling him to eat. But old Chinese food wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. He reluctantly grabbed the pack of beers from the fridge and set them on the table in front of Sam. “This is all we have.” Dean said, as he reached into his back pocket to pull a small pocket knife out and began to work on the access of plastic holding the tins together.

“You’re not supposed to drink on an empty stomach,” Sam commented as he looked up at his brother from his seat. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else?”

“Maybe some moldy bread at the bottom of the cabinet.” Dean swung his leg over the seat across from Sam and sat down before cracking open one of the cans and downing it quickly.

“You okay?” Sam asked, still not grabbing a beer.

“I’m fine, Sammy,” Dean insisted, as he sat the can down. “Promise.”

“The case was pretty hard on you.”

“The case would be hard on anyone. I swear, the vamps were popping up like fucking weeds.”

“I mean, for good reason,” Sam shrugged. “Death isn’t really in the picture anymore. Even monsters get reaped. They know where they’re supposed to go, but since they aren’t being forced they just stick around.”

“We’ve been over this whole thing before,” Dean cracked open another beer, but this one he just looked at the amber liquid inside. “If you have a point you better get to it.”

“What you did to those things were cruel,” Sam mumbled. “Even for you.”  
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just curious about what he said to you. I mean, he was down for twenty minutes before he came back and attacked you.”

“He didn’t need to say anything,” Dean stood up, leaving the open beer on the table as he walked back over to the fridge and looking inside. Contemplating if the food poisoning he’d get from the Chinese food would be worth it. “I ganked him again because what is dead should stay dead.”

“Gank is putting it gently,” Sam added. “You practically tore him apart. There wasn’t a body for him to even come back to when you were done with him.”

Dean didn’t respond, but kept looking into the refrigerator. Sam took that as a signal to continue pressing. “The vamp did go to Purgatory the first time he was down, didn’t he? There is no way he was just in some sort of monster veil for that long. Not when he’s that powerful. Did the vamp talk about-”

Dean slammed the fridge door, the sound of glass bottles breaking could be heard inside. He turned around and pointed an accusing finger at Sam. “It was your goddamn fault he didn’t come back topside!” Dean’s voice shook and his eyes began to sting. “You could have made him come back!”

“Dean, I tried.” Sam said, still trying to keep calm.

“You didn’t try fucking hard enough. He was supposed to come back!” He took a shaky breath. “We could have fixed it… He said he was willing to try. He could have stayed in the bunker with us. I wouldn’t have to feel so fucking alone when you would…”

Dean saw his brother’s shoulders slouch. He knew Sam was trying as hard as he could. And he did manage to get the mark off of his arm. But too many people had to get hurt, get lied to, or die along the way.

“You really do love him don’t you?” Sam asked.

He shook his head, and turned away from Sam once more. “Forget it. I’m going to bed.”

_-_

Dean had stared at the ceiling for an hour before his surroundings began to change to that of a forest. The trees all looked dead, the ground hard, and the sky gray. It was all familiar, and yet simultaneously he didn’t know where he was. He walked aimlessly around, breathing in the familiar scent of rotting corpses. His ears filling with the sound of screams coming from monsters and water lapping against a shore. He followed the sound of the water until he found a stream. Dean remembered that the stream had ran all across Purgatory. He remembered having to stop at it multiple times because he was human after all. The water was the only thing that would actually remind him of that. In Purgatory, he didn’t need to sleep, drink, eat, or any of the normal things he would usually do. It was all kill or be killed. Days were spent running, only short hours could be wasted by the water.

He had once fallen asleep right on the water’s edge. Only to wake up with his head in Benny’s lap and comforting, heavy hands running through his short hair. Dean ended up falling back asleep. Another time near the water was when the stench of Purgatory had just become too much to Dean and he needed to bathe. While he was in the water, his clothes tossed onto the shore, was the first time he really felt Benny’s hands. Caressing his body, kissing his neck. Their shared moans had become louder than the wailing of the leviathans. Dean missed Benny’s hands on him the most.

“Heya, Chief.” Dean froze, not risking a glance to see where the voice had come from.

“You’re not real,” He insisted. “I’m just dreaming. Again.”

“Yeah, you are dreaming,” The southern drawl got closer to him until Dean could actually feel his breath on the back of his neck. “You used to come back all of the time, what happened?”

“I’m sorry…”

“Oh, cry me a river,” He took a few steps around Dean to stand in front of him. “You don’t need to apologize anymore, brother. I was the one who wanted to stay.”

Dean shook his head, still trying to avoid all eye contact. “I need to wake up. You aren’t real. You aren’t _my_ Benny.”

“Cher, look at me,” Benny reached out and touched Dean’s face. The hunter’s breath caught in his throat at the touch. “Feels real, don’t it?”

Dean finally looked up to meet Benny’s clear eyes. “The vamp who ran the nest today said he saw you.”

“He probably did. A lot have been coming in and out lately,” Benny sighed, dropping his hand back to his side. “What did you do?”

“I killed him.” Dean shrugged. “That’s besides the point. I mean, monsters can come back easy now. I even ran into a few leviathans. They looked as freaked out about it as we did.”

“But, you got rid of ‘em, right?”

“Hell yeah I did.”

Benny smiled. It was small, but beamed with pride. “I miss you, brother.”

“So why don’t you come back?” Dean asked, finally moving away from the vampire’s touch. “You can do it.”

“I know I could.” Benny sighed, dropping his hand down back to his side. “I just wish I wanted to.”

“I can help you want to come back, Benny.” Dean insisted. “We have the bunker, for protection. You could help us out on hunts. I just need you here with me.”

Benny flinched and began to look around the area. Dean followed suit, but only saw black trees and the gray sky. “You ever wonder what happens when monsters die in Purgatory?” The vampire asked.

“I try not to think about it.”

“We forget.” He answered, still looking around them. “We start to forget everything that happened to us when we were human, but we’re still alive technically. We keep fighting, then we get killed again and we start to forget everything else. Until we’re just left with the instinct of kill or be killed.”

“Ben-”

“You’re all I know right now, brother.” Benny continued. “I’ll come topside, and I’ll try again. Meet me there.”

Before Dean had the chance to respond, he opened his eyes. Once again looking at the concrete ceiling of his room. It was a dream, of course it was a dream and yet Dean thought he could still feel Benny’s hand on him. It felt all too real and Dean couldn’t stop himself from dropping everything and driving to Maine that instant. Even if there was a chance of only being met with disappointment.


End file.
